Alone. At home. All i hear is the sound of the fan, a couple of crickets vaguely mirroring each other's symphony of sound from the bushes, water droplets thud against the ground falling from the awnings.

I didn't go to school, yet again. In a daze, I think about what I have done in my life, what have I accomplished? I wonder, do I really want to continue studying or should I give it up altogether. My mind battles with itself. YES. NO. Yes.

I have no motivation, no sense of drive. Mostly, I feel dumb. I feel like a solid hard rock, attempting to be a sponge, attempting to absorb what's going on but I can't. I feel lost, not the kind that temporarily troubles me. The kind that prolongs itself, the kind that possesses me and haunts my every thought. Why am I so lost? What are the variables that are different in my life? The new atmosphere? The lack of supporting companions? I think to myself. No answer comes to mind, not a minor hint even. Self doubt will lead you nowhere Letashia, I tell myself.

 Yet, I sit here typing the thoughts that float aimlessly within my head so utterly confused. What's next?